… is definitely not something to be taken lightly.

Since the proposal in January, we have been trying to come up with a plan on how, when and where we want to celebrate our wedding.

We have attended a wedding show, and discussed the pros and cons of different scenarios. Our major issue has been: Do we do it this year or next? I’m a firm believer in the max 12 months engagement period, so naturally I want to get married this year. The Man does not have such a hurry, so he feels that next year would be sufficiently soon. “But I just gave you the engagement ring, can’t we wait a while before you start nagging about the wedding?”

At the same time I’m the one of us who most wants it to be a larger family event. I would like to be able to invite all our cousins, both the ones we see a lot, and the ones who live further away. This raises the cost issue, which doesn’t exactly speak in favor of speeding up things. So we’ve had quite a few debates the past few months, with me constantly trying to discuss things, and him filibustering as best he can… Lucky bastards we are though, both our mums have offered to assist us financially, and of course that helps quite a lot, but we still have had some budgeting to do.

The custom here in Norway is a larger church ceremony, followed by a 3 or 4 course dinner service with the closest family, (often painfully) extended by a large number of speeches, and then inviting the more distant relatives to coffee later in the evening. Usually most of the coffee guests will show up at the ceremony, and then disappear for the appropriate number of hours before the allocated coffee time.

The one thing that hasn’t been up for debate in any degree, is what type of ceremony we would prefer. As neither of us is religious at all, we do not wish to have it in a church. And since we have a friend working as a judge here in Oslo, we would like him to perform the service for us in the reception venue.

After asking around with some friends, it became clear that most guests would want to be able to attend the ceremony as well as the party, so they can see the actual vows being spoken, that being the formal part of the wedding. Since we’re not having the ceremony at a church, it would feel weird to invite people to the ceremony, then tell half the crowd to leave before dinner, only to return hours later (starving) for coffee and cakes.

After much debate the thought struck us recently; hey, why not have a simple champagne reception instead of a full 3-course dinner? So we started investigating that option. After checking with our families that nobody had any heavy objections, we found that to be the best solution for us. So the plan as per now is to have a simple “public” ceremony at the reception, then a champagne (or rather sparkly wine) reception with a tapas buffet, followed by wedding cake, coffee and drinks. We’re not sure whether to have the speeches during the buffet or the coffee, but as we can now (hopefully) afford to invite everyone we would like to share our big day with, it hardly matters, does it?

Ooh; by the way; here is the standard list of speeches in a Norwegian wedding:
1. Welcome speech by the host/hostess
2. Father of the Bride (or the mother if the father does not wish to speak - or can’t)
3. The Groom
4. The Bride
5. The Maid of Honor
6. The Best Man
7. Father of the Groom
8. Mother of the Bride (if she did not speak earlier)
9. Mother of the Groom
10. Grandparents / Godparents (however many of these wish to say a few words)
11. Siblings (likewise)
12. Friends (likewise)
At the end of the dinner service it is customary that someone thanks the hosts for serving such a splendid meal and so on…
I think you can see my point about this dragging a bit out in time…